This is Part 1 of a four-part fertility series exploring how the body decides when it’s safe to move toward pregnancy.
By Joanne Yanke, Conscious Conception Practitioner
The body doesn’t decide about conception based on desire or preparation alone.
It responds to whether the system feels organized enough to move forward without overload. Without conflict.
Coherence is the state where the body senses internal agreement — where signals aren’t competing, and nothing essential is being overridden.
When coherence is present, creation flows.
When it isn’t, the internal conflict can cause the body to pause action — not as resistance, but as regulation.
What is coherence?
Coherence is a state of internal agreement.
It’s the condition where the body senses that its systems are able to move together without conflict. Where signals from the nervous system, emotions, physiology, identity, and relationships aren’t pulling you in different directions.
Nothing is being forced.
Nothing is being ignored.
From a biological perspective, coherence is what allows the body to transition from protection to participation.
From a consciousness-based lens, coherence is what happens when awareness allows competing signals to come into balance so the body no longer has to choose between them.
Why Coherence Matters for Conception
Conception is not a small physiological event.
It’s a major shift in energy, responsibility, identity, and biological demand.
Before allowing that shift, the body asks a simple question:
Is this creation fully in alignment?
If the answer is unclear — if parts of the system feel unsafe, uncertain, or divided — the body may withhold getting pregnant. This pause is not a failure, but rather because the system is being pulled in multiple directions.
It’s regulation.
And once coherence is restored, when the system no longer has to manage competing signals — the body has a clearer direction. From there, movement toward conception often becomes possible without force.
The Body Is Not Motivated by Desire — It Is Governed by Coherence
From the body’s perspective, progress isn’t about wanting something badly enough.
It’s about whether moving forward would fragment the system.
Your body is constantly asking three biological questions — often far below conscious thought:
- Is this safe for my nervous system?
- Can I remain myself if this happens?
- What am I being asked to do, hold, or become?
These aren’t preferences.
They’re regulatory requirements.
When all three are aligned, the body experiences coherence — and there is clear momentum forward.
When even one is violated, the body intervenes.
Not to punish you.
But to protect the whole.
What Coherence Actually Feels Like
What Coherence Feels Like in the Body
Coherence isn’t something you think your way into.
It’s something the body recognises.
When coherence is present, people often notice:
A settled nervous system
Calm but alert. No bracing, urgency, or collapse. You feel present in your body, not floating above it or stuck in your head. There’s a quiet sense of “I’m okay right now.”
Breath that moves on its own
The breath naturally drops into the ribs and belly. Exhales lengthen without effort. There’s no need to regulate or control — it’s already happening.
Internal signals that line up
Thoughts, emotions, and body sensations match. You’re not thinking one thing while your body signals another. Decisions feel simpler, with less internal debate.
Soft strength
Muscles hold tone without gripping. The jaw, shoulders, belly, and pelvic floor feel available rather than tight. Support comes from within, not effort.
Less pressure around time
Waiting doesn’t feel threatening. You’re oriented to the present instead of scanning the future. In fertility work, this is often where the shift from forcing to receiving begins.
Emotions that move cleanly
Feelings arise and pass without overwhelming or getting stuck. Sadness, longing, or joy can be felt without losing regulation.
A quiet internal yes
Not excitement. Not certainty. Just a subtle sense of agreement in the body:
“This makes sense in me.”
What Coherence Is Not
Coherence is often misunderstood.
It is not:
- Positivity
- Spiritual bypassing
- Being symptom-free
- Constant calm
You can be coherent and grieving.
Coherent and uncertain.
Coherent and still waiting.
The difference is that the system is no longer fighting itself.
Why High-Capacity Systems Often Get Stuck
Most fertility struggles don’t come from lack of effort.
They come from action being pushed ahead of coherence.
This often looks like:
- Trying harder when the body is already braced
- Increasing pressure, timelines, or urgency
- Adding more tracking, more protocols, more “doing”
- Telling yourself you should be further along by now
From the outside, this can look like commitment.
From the body’s perspective, it can feel like threat.
When coherence isn’t present, the body doesn’t fail — it compensates.
How the Coherence Loop Breaks
When action outpaces internal readiness, the system responds in a predictable way.
First, the nervous system checks safety:
“Can I tolerate this pace, pressure, or responsibility?”
If the answer is no, protection activates.
Immediately after, identity is assessed — not consciously, but somatically:
- Who do I have to be to do this?
- Will I disappear?
- Will I be trapped?
- Will I fail?
This isn’t overthinking.
It’s implicit memory — shaped by past experiences, loss, burnout, or times when responsibility came without support.
At that point, the body has only two options:
Overdrive — pushing, performing, proving, overriding signals
(often followed by exhaustion, resentment, or collapse)
Shutdown — procrastination, fog, withdrawal, “I just can’t”
(often followed by shame and self-blame)
Both are protective.
Neither is failure.
Why This Matters for Fertility
Conception is not just a biological event. It’s a whole-system transition.
Your body isn’t only preparing to conceive a baby. It’s assessing whether it can hold:
- ongoing responsibility
- physical demand
- emotional availability
- identity shift
- relational change
If any part of you senses, “I can’t do this and remain whole,” the body will prioritize protection over conception.
That doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means your system is honest.
The Essential Reframe
What many women interpret as:
- procrastination
- fear of success
- inconsistency
- self-sabotage
Is often something far more intelligent:
A coherent system refusing incoherent demands.
Your body isn’t blocking you.
It’s asking for alignment.
Coherence Is Restored — Not Forced
Coherence doesn’t come from trying harder.
It comes from designing life in a way the body can trust.
That looks like:
- smaller, repeatable actions
- slower ramps instead of sudden pressure
- rhythm before scale
- relationship before performance
- choice before obligation
When action honours safety and identity:
- capacity expands naturally
- confidence builds through repetition
- movement becomes sustainable
Not because you pushed —
but because nothing inside had to be left behind.
Why This Changes Everything
When you understand coherence, something softens.
You stop fighting your body.
You stop pathologising hesitation.
You stop forcing timelines that don’t feel safe.
And the question begins to change.
Instead of asking,
“How do I make this happen?”
you begin asking,
“What would allow my whole system to come with me?”
That shift matters — not just for conception, but for motherhood, leadership, creativity, and life beyond this moment.
For now, let this land:
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
And your body is not failing you.
It’s communicating.
And when we learn how to listen, movement no longer needs to be forced.
Coherence is the foundation — but it isn’t the whole picture.
Once coherence is named, a deeper question often follows:
What allows the body to feel safe enough to soften?
We explore this question in the free No Stress Conception Masterclass, where I explain how the body uses coherence, safety, identity, and action to decide when it’s ready to move forward — and what helps restore readiness without force.
Held monthly. Learn more here.
In Part 2 of this series, we explore Safety — how the nervous system decides whether it’s safe to receive, expand, and sustain pregnancy.
